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Fidget on a Visit to Sedona
She is the Siamese darling of Stephanie and Cyrus
February 25, 2001
Hey Fidgy, what are you doing in the crib? You are not a stuffed toy...
Fidget fits a lot of these!!
--1. Take cold chicken and stars soup straight from the can
and splash it across the carpet and the foot of the bed and
then walk in it in the dark with your socks on.
--2. Set up a mouse trap at the foot of the bed each night
so that if you move a toe one inch while you are sleeping,
you are sure to get snapped.
--3. Cover all your best suits with cat hair. Dark suits
must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair.
Also, float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the
morning.
--4. Put everything cat-toy sized into a water bowl to
marinate.
--5. Practice cutting your chicken into teeny tiny bites so
that when they steal, it won't be the whole breast.
--6. Tip over a basket of clean laundry, and scatter clothing
all over the floor.
--7. Leave your underwear on the living room floor, because
that's where the cat will drag it anyway (especially when you
have company).
--8. Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your
favorite TV program and run to the TV. shouting "No! No!
Don't chew on the electric cord!" Miss the end of the program.
--9. Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the corner of
the living room in the morning and don't try to clean it up
until you return from work that evening.
--10. Gouge the surface of the dining room table several
times with an exacto knife. It's going to get scratched
anyway.
--11. Practice searching every closet and open cabinet door
before you shut it.
--12. Knock all small items off your kitchen counter.
--13. Chew the eraser off every pencil in the house.
--14. Take a fork and shred the roll of toilet paper while
it's still hanging up. Pull a few sheets off and scatter
them around the bathroom.
--15. Take a staple remover and punch two holes in every
scrap of paper around the house.
--16. Get a litter tray without a lid and mix in some tootsie
rolls with cat litter and then tip it over right before the
company comes. Make sure your guests get to find this before
you do.
--17. Buy a mixed bag of cat toys and stuff them under the
refrigerator. Practice getting up at 2AM and fishing them
out with a ruler or broom stick.
--18. Take a warm cuddly blanket out of the dryer and
immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling
you will get when your new cat falls asleep on